The Intimacy Temptation, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to very hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and closeness .

However when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay men desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North you can try this out adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based helpful hints upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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