The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, closeness, love, and wellness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men want to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

webpage Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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